You are my Life, Soul, and Eternal Essence
by Sherene Taylor
Summary: He loved her that fact was obvious but he could only take so much before he blows. "NO WONDER INUYASHA JUST THAT ABOMBINATION AS A MATE ATLEAST IT KNOWS IT'S PLACE BUT YOU ARE COMPLETELY USELESS"
1. Chapter 1

Slowly his eyes began to bleed red in anger and annoyance. There was only so much he could take and put up with till all his sanity blows. He loves her, there was no denying that fact but this was getting out of hand.

"_Sesshomaru could you please get me some cookie dough ice cream, with hot fudge, banana slices, pepporoni slices, and those crunchy pickles please"_ her voice was soft and sweet.

The weird cravings he could handle. He didn't mind getting his mate what she desired no matter how revolting it seemed to him. He loves the feeling of being needed by his mate. It made his ego swell in pride knowing no matter what he is the only one who could satisfy her needs.

But her mood swings were a different story. They were slowly taking a toll on him and seriously stabbing at his pride and ego. He was the LORD of The Western Lands and the most feared demon when in the feudal era. Now he is the most feared corporate tycoon in the world. He bows to no one nor did he take orders or demands from anyone especially a _ningen_.

Technically she was no longer a human due to their mating but she still had a heart of one.

Sometimes he wondered what the hell he was thinking when he took the miko as his mate, but not just any miko, but his brothers wench Kagome. She was sweet kind delightful and independent but now she was cold mean and to clingy. He couldn't put all the blame on her though he did get her pregnant.

When he comes home late she accuses him of cheating.

When she is angry she yells and throws threats and flying objects his way.

She cries and cries about how sorry she is and would make it up to him for being such an awful person.

He didn't know how much more he could take before he blows, but when he does its going to be hell.


	2. Chapter 2

"Sesshomaru" he was brought from his thoughts by the raven haired beauty next to him.

"Sesshomaru were you even listening" she asked a little irritated.

"Hn"

She hated that word. It wasn't even a word in her vocabulary. Every time he said that it felt like he wasn't even listening or cared.

"I really wish you would stop saying that word to me. It's like you don't even care. I mean…"

Right now they were at his parents house for a visit. It was him his mate and adopted pups who mated when Shippo was 17 and Rin 15 thus expanding her life span. Inuyasha sat across from him with that abomination of a mate next to him. How hated that creature. Kikiyuo. Why his mate wished her back to blood and bones was beyond him.

Speaking of his mate, she was still going on and on. He could hear the chuckles from the people around him.

Wrong move.

He snapped.

"Would you silence your useless ranting" he growled angrily.

"Sesshomaru" she gasped but he just kept going.

"Never in my life of living have I ever encounter such an insufferable wench. Any woman would kill to be in my bed and yet all you do is complain and bitch like a child."

Sesshomaru was growling to suppress his beast but it was not the one to take orders from any one or have someone talk down to him. He could sense the heart and embarrassment from his mate and the stress, which was not good for the pup in the least.

"Sesshomaru do not speak to your mate in such away" Inu Tashio growled warningly.

He understood why Kagome was the way she is. This is not like a human nor half demon birth in the least but a very delicate full demon and shall anything stress out the pup or mother it could be fatal for both pup and mother.

Sesshomaru paid no mind to his fathers' warning.

"If I come home late it is because I rather not share a bed with a cold hearted bitch"

By now Kagome was crying so hard she found it impossible to breath.

"Kagome please calm down" Jen tried comforting the girl while the men tried to calm Sesshomaru but it wasn't going well, Kagome was starting to hyperventilate.

"Oh surprise surprise the bitch is crying but then again that's all you ever do. No wonder Inuyasha left you for that abomination, at least it knows its place."

'_No not again'_ Kagome thought crying holding her stomach. Another man she loves was comparing her to _her_.

She always knew he was too good for her but it still hurt coming from his mouth.

"SESSHOMARU SHUT THE HELL UP" Inuyasha growled punching his brother in the jaw.

Sesshomaru flew back into the wall with his beast fading away and him coming back to his normal self.

He looked up and saw his mate in tears and pain in his mother's arms.

"Kagome" he said panicking hoping to God he didn't just fuck up his life.

"I-I'm s-s-sorry" she cried as she tried her hardest to breath.

"I-I didn't mean t-to trap y-you i-into this"

"Kagome no don't say that I love you with all my heart mind soul and body please don't say such lies" Sesshomaru didn't care who was watching. He was aware of everything that went on when his beast took over and it killed him.

"I always knew you could do better" and with that last whisper she vanished.

"KAGOME" he yelled but it was too late. She was gone and what he saw on the floor in front of him made him want to die. It was her engagement ring. They were together in demon terms but not human.

This was the down side to mating a very powerful miko. She left no scent, aura or anything that could he could use to trace her.

"LET ME GO I NEED TO FIND MY MATE" Sesshomaru roared. His father was holding him back.

"I will have Inuyasha, Shippo and a few servants looking for her but you and I need to have a serious talk" he said with a dead serious tone.


	3. Chapter 3

'_I always knew I never deserved him'_ she thought with tears streaming down her face. She sat alone in the dark with a barrier up.

She had no self-esteem not even when Sesshomaru chose her. She always told him he could better but the answer was always the same. He wanted her but now he regrets it and is now trapped with her.

She was never good when it came to men. No one in her time wanted her, except Hojo but she didn't want him. No one in the past wanted her because they all thought she was some corrupt whore because she traveled, care for and loved demons even though she was a priestess.

Her first love only wanted her because she looked like his true love and even that wasn't enough and even now she can't satisfy the one male that made all the pain worth it. Even he compared her to Kikiyuo and he hated her like no other.

"I guess I will forever be cursed to live a lonely life living in her shadow" she said softly in a sad tone.

_I drove for miles_

_Just to find_

_You and find myself_

_All these screams_

_All these voices _

_In my head_

_You gave me strength _

_Gave me hope_

_For a lifetime_

For the first time she believed that she was lucky enough to find the one who loves for her and only her. Sesshomaru made her feel loved and he cherished her. He would punish anyone who disrespected her. Any and every time they made love he would always say _'I Love You Kagome'_ and made her feel like she was walking on air. No matter how many times she would tell him he could take his time he would always rush through his work with efficiency and accuracy just to be with her. Never once did he ever make her feel unworthy in the least.

_I never was satisfied_

She didn't know why she was acting the way she was. She was always angry and confused after she got pregnant and began pushing him away. She had no control over her emotions. She didn't mean to and now she blames herself because she lost the best thing that could ever have happened to her.

_This time won't you save me_

_This time won't you save me_

_ Baby I can feel myself giving up _

_This time wont you save me_

_This time wont you save me_

_Baby I can feel myself giving up_

_Its not your fault _

_I'm a bitch_

_I'm a monster_

_Yes I'm a beast_

_And I feast_

_When I conquer_

_But I'm alone_

_On my throne_

She was now doomed to live a life in solitude and regrets for the rest of her life. He no longer wanted her and was sure he didn't want anything to do with her especially their un born pup. She will love and care for this pup with her life and make sure it lived a life full of love and happiness. Something she was denied since turning 15.

_All these riches_

_I came this way_

_All this way_

_Just to say hey_

_This time won't you save me_

_This time won't you save me_

_Baby I can feel myself giving up_

_This time won't you save me_

_This time won't you save me_

_Baby I can feel myself giving up_

_I'm giving up baby_

_I'm giving up baby_

She got up and went to the room she and Sesshomaru shared together to pack her things. She didn't want to punish him any longer than necessary. She won't force him to love her just because she has his pup.

_I'm giving up baby_

'_Be free Sesshomaru'_

She would find a way to rid herself of this mark so he could be free and happy with whomever he wanted.

'_Good bye Sesshomaru'_

She didn't make it two steps without falling over in pain.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH" she screamed in agony holding her stomach.

The last thing she remembered was seeing the concern faces of the servants crowding over her.

"SOMEONE CALL LORD SESSHOMARU AT ONCE" Jaken commanded before rushing to Kagome.

'_No'_ was her last thought before fading to a world of blackness.


	4. Chapter 4

Sesshomaru was in his fathers' study when he got a phone call.

"WHAT" he snapped. He was not in the best of moods after what his father told him.

"My lord" it was Izumi. He could hear the stress and worry in her voice but didn't care.

"MY LORD SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH LADY KAGOME SHE" but the phone was cut off when he hung up and was already out the door with his father right behind.

'_Please Kagome please just a little longer'_ he pleaded with tears building.

_**~~~~~~~Moments ago in his fathers' study~~~~~~~~~**_

"Sesshomaru it is clear that you do not understand just how delicate this pregnancy is" Inu Tashio said seriously.

Sesshomaru made no move to protest just sat there waiting for his father to go one.

"This is no human nor demon pregnancy. Kagome is not a regular demon but a miko demoness" Inu Tashio began.

"When she first turned demon after your mating her miko powers and demonic powers were fighting for dominance"

Sesshomaru remembered that day. It was the worst day of his life. He sat there completely useless as he watched in agony as Kagome began to transform. Her pained scream broke his heart and her pleading for the pain to stop tore his soul. It lasted for 2 days.

"This is not like that time but worse. The pup inside of her feels what she feels and hears what she thinks. Should anything upset her the pup will act on instinct and try to calm her with its' demonic aura but is now fighting with her miko powers for both are trying to calm the woman but only one will be dominant. Should this battle between the pup and her miko powers should continue then you will not only loose Kagome but the pup as well."

"I do not blame you nor do I blame her but you must remember that this is her first pregnancy and it doesn't make it any easier that it is full demon. Her emotions are rampant and takes over her 100 fold then it would should it be a human birth. She does not mean the things she say nor do because she loves you more than anything but after today there will always be doubt and a reminder to her just how unworthy she believes she is which is causing even more pain especially when you compared her that thing Inuyasha mated"

He had no idea what the hell his youngest pup was thinking but the hearts wants what the heart wants I suppose. No matter how ignorant it maybe.

_**~~~~~~~End Flashback~~~~~~~**_

Their eyes went wide in shock and fear. The mansion was engulfed in pink and blue light.

"SESSHOMARU YOU MUST RUSH TO YOUR MATE AND TRY TO CALM THE PUP" Inu Tashio demanded.

Sesshomaru used his demons strength and jumped on to the balcony connected to their room and busted through the glass. There in the hall was his mate screaming in pain. He could see the blood dripping from her womb.

"KAGOME" he rushed to her side and lifted her gently surrounding them with his demonic aura praying to all kami that she could sense him.

_**~~~~~~~~KAGOMES' MIND~~~~~~~**_

"MAMA"

'_W-who is there'_ she thought groggily opening her eyes.

'MAMA' a voice screamed in fear.

'S-Shippo' she thought faintly.

'MAMA HELP ME'

'_No its not Shippo'_ her eyes opened and saw a baby floating in midair crying in pain being surrounded by pink light.

The baby had silky beautiful silver hair with black tips and a crescent a blue crescent moon on his forehead with magenta stripes on his cheeks. His eyes were closed in pain trying to survive the pain.

'T-That's my baby' she thought with her heart breaking.

Something inside her began to stir and tried to take over but she fought it,

"LET ME OUT" it sounded like her only deadly.

"'Who are you"

"I AM BEAST. BEAST MUST SAVE PUP" it commanded breaking through the cage to point where it took over.

Kagomes' eyes went from clear ocean blue to a dark deadly purple. She rushed to her child holding him close as her powers began to take control over the situation. Her aura was now a dark purple and it swarmed over her and the pup as it fought against her miko powers and her half demon side but as a full demon her powers surpassed them both thus suppressing them.

She was surrounding by black as noting but blue purple and pink clashed against each other but slowly they began to subside making Kagomes beast the victor.

She was left panting and looked down at the bundle in her arms.

"Pup is safe" she panted heavily watching him sleep.

_'See you soon mama' _the voice said softly.

Her eyes began to go back to their normal blue before she fainted as the baby began to fade.


	5. Chapter 5

'_Please come back koi, please come back to me mate' _

'_Oh god my head is killing me'_ Kagome groaned inwardly.

'_I love you Kagome please come back'_ she heard someone say.

'_Se-Sesshomaru'_ she thought trying to open her eyes. Her eyes began to crack open and immediately regretted it. There was a bright light glaring right down at her.

"Where the hell am I" she whispered aloud trying to adjust to the light.

"Kagome" a voice called.

She turned to come face to face with Sesshomaru, but this wasn't her Sesshomaru, not the one she mated. This Sesshomaru was a complete mess. His hair was tussled, his eyes blood shot as if he hadn't slept in forever, there were tear stains on his cheeks and his clothes were wrinkle.

"Thank Kami you're okay" he said hugging her close.

"Sesshomaru what's going on"

"You were out for a week when I found you in the mansion and right now we're in the hospital. I haven't left your side since" he explained not releasing her from his hold.

As she let the news sink in she let a tear escape her.

"I'm sorry" she whispered softly.

"I'm sorry for the trouble, outrageous demands, mood swings and everything. I promise as soon as we get out I'll do anything and everything to make it up to you" she whispered not daring to look at him.

Sesshomaru released her enough to force her to look at him. How he missed those beautiful ocean blue eyes that he yearned for day and night.

He lifted her gently and sat on the bed with her in his lap as h tucked her head under his chin and held her as she quietly sobbed into his chest. His heart hurt like hell seeing her like this especially when he made it this way.

He waited for her to calm down before speaking.

"What I said was completely and utterly false. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts. When we first mated I did everything and anything to finish what I was doing so that I could rush into your arms. Every day and night till this very day I would find myself silently praying to the Kamis' above to never wake me up because not once in my life have I even dreamt of such a beautiful sweet kind and caring woman to ever love me especially with knowing all that I have done."

By now she sobbing an apologizes in his chest for being so mean but he continued to hold her and softly stroking her hair to comfort her.

"You have nothing to apologize for love. You were the way you were because of the pregnancy. My beast was just not used to taking orders, but no matter what it says never doubt that I for one second wish to be mated to another because I do not. I love you Kagome and only you. I only want you gracing my bed. I only want you in my arms and bearing my pups."

Just then Kagome felt something slide onto her finger. She saw it was her engagement ring.

"Please" his voice was soft and desperate. "Please don't ever take this off. When I saw it on the floor I thought I lost you forever. I broke down to tears desperate to get you back by my side."

"Please don't ever leave me. You think I am too good for you but it is the other around. Before you, I was cold, silent, and did not care for another's presence. Rin merely cracked the ice surrounding my heart but you, you did so much more. You completely melted the ice away and I found myself yearning to be near you all the time. Your smile brightens my entire day, you childlike antics and free spirited nature draws me closer to you making me smile as I here your beautiful laugh. Kagome you bring out the better in me. You make every day of my existence worth living and it kills me knowing my mate, heart, and very life thinks themselves unworthy of this Sesshomaru, a natural born killer. I love you Kagome and never doubt that again."

He pulled back a little and cupped her face bringing her into a passionate kiss.

It was filled with love, passion, longing, lust, desire, and hunger.

"Never leave me" Sesshomaru whispered before going back in.

"Ahem" they pulled apart being interrupted a very amused Inu Tashio.

"So I see it you pups made up" he said making Kagome giggle. But Sesshomaru only made her think of him as he pulled her back to his lips.

Inu Tashio or no Inu Tashio. He craved his mate.


	6. Chapter 6

It's been a week and Sesshomaru refused to leave his mate side for anything. They bathed together, ate together, walk together, drove together, he even waits for her to finish her business in the bathroom before carrying her back to their bed where he held her.

"Sesshomaru" she sighed "you can go back to work you know. You've been gone for about 4 and half months now. I mean if anything happens-" and that's where he cut her off.

"If anything happens I will be here to take care of it. I am your mate and no one will care for you except I and as for work I am owner and Inuyasha along with father are taking care of everything" he said holding her as his face buried itself into her neck gentling licking it making her shiver.

The doctor said that no matter what she had to take it easy and decrease stress in her life during this pregnancy. If her beast had not have down what it did when needed then he would have lost both his mate and pup. It seems her body was being consumed with the power of her pup and miko powers. If the battle continued then it would have been fatal, but being that he beast was more powerful and determined it absorbed the power thus suppressing the attacks on her body.

"I will never leave your side again especially in your condition" he said with a final tone as he nipped lightly at her ear lobe.

They were in their room on the bed snuggled under the comforter.

Kagome sighed in defeat. She didn't know why she was evening arguing with him. Any woman would kill to have a partner this dedicated to them as he is with her and it made her heart swell knowing he was fully and completely hers no matter what and she has every intention of keeping it that way.

"I love you Kagome" he purred into her ear as his hands slowly descended south of her hips.

"Oh Sesshomaru" she moaned softly as she felt his finger work her clit.

Her eyes snapped opened.

"Damn you're soaked" he said hovering over her.

"Sesshomaru…I think my water broke"

And just like that he was dressed in sweats and a muscle shirt and sneakers with the baby bag over his shoulder.

Kagome sat there with an anime sweat drop.

_'Now he leaves my side'_ she thought putting her summer dress and flip flops.

"Sorry" before she could comprehend she was now in the passenger side of car.

She has never been so grateful for demonic cars. When needed they went so fast that they can't be seen.

After 10 minutes they were in the lobby with Kagome panting heavily.

"My mate is in labor I need " Sesshomaru demanded.

"You wanna see the doctor fill this out and wait" the girls said popping her gum and throwing the packet into Kagomes lap.

Sesshomaru immediately saw red.

"No" he turned and saw his mate stand as her eyes became purple.

She took the packet and threw at the spiteful woman hitting her dead in the face.

"What hell you bit…" she instantly shut her mouth seeing the angered couple.

"Listen and you better damn well listen good" her voice was cold and deadly making the woman shake in fear.

"I have through hell and back for the last 4 damn months and I am way past pissed. Do you know how hard it is to carry a full demon pup well it sure as hell aint paradise. Before I turned this damn hospital upside down and rid this world of your worthless existence. I only have so much control left so by the count of three I want to see a room key in front of me and you on that phone paging doctor Tanaka…1" she began to count down dangerously.

"….2"

"HERE" the girl said in fear….. "D-D-Dr. Tanaka umm Mr. and Mrs. Tashio here requesting you now in room 341. Mrs. Tashio is in labor"

"She'll be right with you Mrs. Tashio" the girl squeaked but the couple wash already gone.


	7. Chapter 7

"PUSH!" The doctor ordered.

"Come Kagome almost there" said.

"I-I can't" Kagome cried "It hurts so bad"

Sesshomaru was slowly starting to cringe away but his mate grip on his hand was dead lock killing all circulation in his hand.

"Sesshomaru I need your help here" Tanaka said.

"Kagome" he said softly into her ear.

"Se-Sesshomaru I'm so sorry but it hurts" she cried with the tears coming down harder.

"No Kagome I know you can do this. You are stronger than any one, human or demon alike. You always had dreams of us having a baby and making a family but we were denied that joy in the past but now we can have as many as you want" he encouraged.

"We always looked forward to hearing the little pitter patter of small feet running through our home. Waking up those early mornings and in the middle of the night tending to our pup" he said.

"You can do this Kagome I know you can love"

"OK KAGOME I NEED ONE MORE GOOD HARD PUSH….1….2….3 PUSH"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH" Kagome yelled in agony.

Minutes later the room was filled with the sound of a baby's' cry.

"It's a handsome baby boy congratulations you two. I'll clean him up and bring him back in a few minutes."

"Thank you Ayame" Sesshomaru said as he tended to his mate.

"You did it love" Sesshomaru whispered wiping the sweat from her brow.

"W-we finally have a pup of our own" she said with a small smile.

Back in the feudal era they couldn't have a pup with the war of the West and North going on and the fact that it would be hunted down for its power.

"That we do koi that we do" he said nuzzling her cheek before kissing her lips.

"Rest love the pup and I will be here when you wake."

"I Love You Sesshomaru" she whispered.

"I Love You Too Kagome my Love I Love You Too" he said softly before kissing her once more.

He slipped away for a moment to see Inu Tashio still here.

"Where is Inuyasha" Sesshomaru said.

"He said he will be back in the morning with the pups and his mate"

Sesshomaru did not want that filth anywhere near his mate and pup.

"Ayame went to clean the pup and bring him back if you wish you may come in" he turned and leave knowing his father was right behind him.

They sat there in a comfortable silence as Sesshomaru held his mates hand. Inu Tashio couldn't be more proud of his pup then he is now. He finally has someone to love and someone to love him back for him and just him.

Being half human he knew Inuyasha would find love one day, but never expected it to be in death but love is love.

He was mainly worried about Sesshomaru, thinking he may never get the joy and happiness from a lover and best friend.

"We're back" Ayame whispered. She came in and gave him to Sesshomaru and left them alone.

"What are you going to name him" Inu Tashio asked quietly.

The pup had Sesshomrus' hair but with black tips. He also had his father's beautiful sun kissed eyes and markings. A blue crescent moon laid wonderfully on his forhead along with the magenta strips on his cheeks.

He chuckled seeing how the pup took after his mother in playing with his ear.

"Kurono Ouji" he said softly playing with the pup a little longer before giving him to his father.

Sesshomaru climbed into bed with his mate before succumbing to sleep.

"Welcome little one"


End file.
